Ways by which the abandonment wound shows up in adulthood

by Raj Das

Abandonment issues are common among individuals who have grown up in dysfunctional homes. These issues can be a result of childhood trauma or an attachment style that involves being left behind in relationships. The fear of abandonment can manifest in various ways in adult relationships, leading to anxiety and difficulties in forming emotional intimacy.

According to therapist Lalitaa Suglani, abandonment issues stem from a strong fear of losing loved ones or them leaving a relationship. This fear is not a distinct diagnosis but rather a form of anxiety that can affect relationships throughout one’s life. It is often associated with parents or caregivers leaving, but it can also arise from emotional neglect or when parents are not available in the way a child needs them to be.

In adulthood, abandonment issues may manifest in several ways. Firstly, individuals with abandonment issues may experience anxiety about people leaving. They constantly fear that everyone will eventually abandon them, leaving them feeling alone and vulnerable.

Another way abandonment issues show up is through hypervigilance. Individuals with these issues become hyperaware of the moods and expressions of others, constantly seeking validation and reassurance to prevent being left behind or disliked by others.

Abandonment issues also make individuals oversensitive to feedback and criticism. They take things to heart and connect any form of criticism to potential abandonment. This oversensitivity to feedback can affect their self-esteem and their ability to receive constructive criticism.

Attachment issues are another common manifestation of abandonment fears. Individuals with abandonment issues may struggle with forming healthy attachment styles. They may either become overly attached, seeking constant validation and reassurance, or have a fear of commitment and avoid emotional intimacy altogether.

Lastly, individuals with abandonment issues may find it difficult to engage in emotional intimacy. The fear of being abandoned leads them to be cautious and protective of themselves. They may be hesitant to open up and be vulnerable, fearing that they will be hurt or abandoned.

It is important to note that abandonment issues can have a significant impact on relationships and one’s overall well-being. These issues may require professional help, such as therapy, to address the underlying trauma and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

In conclusion, abandonment issues are rooted in a fear of losing loved ones or being left behind in relationships. These issues can stem from childhood trauma or an anxious attachment style. In adulthood, abandonment issues can manifest as anxiety about people leaving, hypervigilance, oversensitivity to feedback, attachment issues, and difficulties in emotional intimacy. Seeking professional help is crucial in addressing these issues and developing healthier relationship patterns.

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